Sheila D. Boynton, LSW, MDiv, CTCP, CAMS-I

Hello Soul Family,

Have you ever felt over it? No, not over life, but over being the go-to person for people you can’t go it. Or over prioritizing the feelings or needs of others at your own expense. In a world that often tells us to put others first, it’s easy to lose sight of the most important person – ourselves. But being over it can serve as a motivation to realign to prioritize our own needs. It’s not always easy to prioritize ourselves, especially when we’ve been conditioned to put others first. But with practice and a commitment to our own happiness and peace, we can break free from old patterns and step into a new way of being and living.

Choosing myself means setting healthy boundaries to teach others how we want to be treated. Too often, we get caught up in the expectations of others, the demands of responsibilities, and the noise of the world. Then we have regrets because what we wanted to do was neglected. But, when we enforce boundaries, we create the space to prioritize our own needs and desires.

It also takes immense courage to choose yourself, to walk away from toxic relationships and situations that no longer serve you.  This is a perfect time to do some Spring cleaning. Dig up the weeds in your life. Discard what is not growing to make room for the new. Adjust the expectations others have of you. Realign expectations you place on yourself and others to conform.

So, before you say ‘yes’ to the demands and needs of others, take a minute to consider:

1. Does it add value to your life? Does it align with your current goals? What will you have to take off your plate to fulfill the request?

It’s not always easy, but prioritizing your own growth, happiness and fulfillment is the truest path to living the life you want to live. My slogan is: “you get the best of me, when I invest in me.”  Be patient with yourself. Don’t try to change everything at once. Try one new habit until you’re comfortable with it, then, add another habit (or break a habit). Do what works for you to make you a priority!

JOURNAL PROMPTS

• What personal needs are you sacrificing to meet the needs of others?
• What is your main concern about putting yourself first?
• How will putting yourself first positively impact your life?

THE SOUL’S CORNER…

1. Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie has been one of my go-to meditations to soothe my soul.
2. Are You Running on Empty? By Nedra Tawwab (Newsletter) https://nedratawwab.substack.com/p/are-you-running-on-empty
3. Powerful song by Naime Raine entitled “Choosing Myself & Still Alone” https://youtu.be/0HNFiwl5l5Q?si=Mgzwd3vHYjZHNkYm

Thanks for reading The Soul’s Newsletter!