Sheila D. Boynton, LSW, MDiv, CTCP, CAMS-I

Hello Soul Family,

As I scrolled through social media, I couldn’t help but notice how easy it is to get caught up in external demands and cultural trends.  Social media seems to cultivate a culture of more of this or more of that or wear this or wear that.  And let’s not talk about how we can subconsciously compare our lives to the sanitized version of people’s lives on social media. Why do we compare our insides by the outside appearance of others? Who are we trying to keep up with and why? Often times I have to remind myself that I don’t need that pair of designer slides trending on Instagram.

Far too often, we get caught up in trying to impress others or attain status symbols for validation. But seeking external validation can be a never-ending trap. I have lived long enough to understand that true fulfillment is not found in material things or how many followers we have on social media. We think that a new job, relationship, or material possession will finally make us feel complete. But the reality is, real happiness and healing can only come from within. No matter how much praise or success you achieve on the outside, true fulfillment comes from an “inside job.”

What does it mean to make it an “inside job”? At the core of the “inside job” is our mental, emotional, and spiritual health.  The way we think, feel, and perceive ourselves has a profound impact on the outcomes we experience. Ultimately, the “inside job” approach is a journey of:

• self-discovery – shed the layers of conditioning and societal expectations to uncover your authentic self (who am I without the titles? Roles? Material things? What brings me joy? What makes me feel good about myself?)
• self-acceptance – accept yourself, flaws, and all, to become less concerned with the opinions of others and place more focus on honoring your own needs and desires.
• self-empowerment – take charge of your life by making positive choices, take the necessary actions to improve your current situation and understand your strengths and weaknesses as a motivation to learn and grow.

JOURNAL PROMPTS

1. What are the limiting beliefs holding you back from what you desire?
2. Where are your current behaviors, habits, or decisions out of sync with your core values?
3. What small but powerful shift can you make today to improve yourself?
4. If you your body could be turned inside out, what would it reveal?

 THE SOUL’S CORNER…

• Why parents should stop blaming themselves for how their kids turn out by Yuko Munakata PhD in Ted.com
• Brené Brown with Dr. Amishi Jha on Finding Focus and Owning Your Attention. Listen on Spotify.
• Watch “The Union” on Netflix for a good laugh and a little mindless television for self-care.

Thanks for reading The Soul’s Newsletter!